I know nothing about Yul Brynner; you’re wondering why I’ve writ?
Thing is I’m sorta telling tales – I do know just a little bit
I know he dressed in black a lot and that he shaved his head
Yeah, okay: Everyone knows that, is what you probably said?
I was pretty sure he wasn’t christened with his actor name
But turns out that he did not spell it quite the same
Five or so years was the first time I saw him, in an odd sit
uation; I guess maybe it is only odd now I know a little bit?
I didn’t see him at the movies, on a poster, nor the TV
Nonetheless, it did make a very big impression on me
I saw him pictured in a magazine. Oh no, not the movie kind
He was in a swimming pool. I know: That really is some find
But not an advert for cleaning, for tiles, or for rubber rings
Nor was it about swimming lessons; nor any of those things
Not on his own, but with a young lady (instead of other men)
Well … She would be young, if right now was back then
She wore an orange bikini, in maybe the first shot or two
There were lots of photos, so I skipped past them first few
As for him? Well … … he wasn’t wearing much at all
Or anything … If there’s nothing wrong with my recall?
What struck me most was not the palm trees, nor clothing
The surroundings, the sunlight, nor the water sparkling
It wasn’t the legs, the bum; nor the boobs of the lassie
Nor the size of his todger (cos that was floppy, see!)
Instead I remember thinking; I’d love to be in your place
Not just the pretty lady, but for the look on your face
I don’t think I’d ever seen someone look so very happy
So much enjoyment in life. So bold, careless and carefree.
It was then that pools went right up in my estimation
I was so sure we’d gotta get one, at our habitation!
We had the space; did have a big back garden, see
And even if not, could have cut down our apple tree
Dad could have dug a hole – And we’d have lent a hand
Rain coulda filled it and weda surrounded it with sand
Around and about our place, plenty of lasses we had got
Though if wearing orange bikinis … Maybe not as hot?
Still, the lady in the magazine hardly wore her togs
So wouldn’t have mattered if ours arrived in clogs
You can be sure a right good time would have abound
Sat on each other’s shoulders and splish-splashin’ around
And since then I admit I’ve wondered, just once in a little while
If it had all have happened … Would I have a similar smile?
All done with loads of admiration and affection – He’s my favourite ever actor, and starred in the very best movie ever made.
[The magazine article? Playboy (ims) waaaaay too long ago for links :-p]
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