Malcolm – it is still Malcolm, isn’t it?1 – has come up with an idea.
This is about sustaining the health of the Australian Economy, so pay attention, then get your thinking caps on. First, here’s a recap of the current situation:
Fk mining – Digging holes causes too much grief. Commodity prices around the world have crashed, so it’s not making money any longer. It was good for jobs though, loads of people were employed protesting about the dust and noise.
Fk farming – Growing stuff is just too damn hard – Either the country’s flooded, or she’s on fire. 85% of the land mass grows fk all bar ‘roos and only one was ever shipped abroad.
The Ideas Economy
So, this is Malcolm’s idea: He’d like someone to come up with one.
Malcolm would like something that can be sold around the world, costs little to make and doesn’t use up too many resources. And he thinks it would be great if it was kind to the environment, protected jobs for local people and helped the balance of trade.
Well here’s my contribution … Someone get Al on the phone, we’re gonna make it big.
Virtual Flowers
These cost absolutely nothing to produce. No land needs putting aside. No mess is made growing or harvesting. No nasty fertilizers or chemicals are needed and no watering is required. No foreign labour gets bussed in to pick them and there’s no cheap, imported vase.
Our business employs local people:
- To staff a shop that no one ever visits – This protects the environment as no one drives to it – And because we don’t deliver either, we support the ban on electric cars and vans.
- To telephone the recipient to inform them that their virtual flowers are [not] on the way
We’re easy to find: There’s an entry in your Local Business Directory and a helpful website where you can place an order if you need to … Which you don’t.
Keeping the Made-In-Australia Brand healthy: This is a quality product – While real flowers often look a bit ropey the day after you bought them, ours will look their very best for a very long time to come.
Best of all, the customer can pay weekly – no need to fork out a lump sum – And for total peace of mind, be assured, everything’s covered after you’re gone.
Virtual Flowers: “We deliver anticipation – And nothing else”
1 I know … Cheap joke